Derf Mode

Feels like just yesterday i had my exams -.-

2006-08-14T21:59:00.000-07:00

Finally i got to update this thing. dang, so busy right now with midterm exams coming on the way and revising student council's constitution and by laws. (How come I'm the one doing that? -.-)

Right now, im doing a research about mining. I dont really know what side should i choose. It really depends on one's point of view to distinguish whether it's bad for us or is it just me who's thinking that. Anyway, i think it's bad for us because most mining companies are abusive. It's a fact that's most politician ignore. Sigh. Anyway, I'm not to talk about it. hehehe!

This coming saturday, my councilmates we'll be having an overnight swimming in Pansol, Laguna courtesy of miko (I forgot his surname. Familiar with Botak t-shirts? His family owns it. Dang rich guy, although he doesn't look like one but hey we're cool with it) He's letting us use their resthouse near montevista resort. I dont know the exact place because i've never been there.

I'll try to be back later. I'll just finish my work here

Farewell? Nah! ^^

2006-07-30T16:35:00.000-07:00

Untitled kasi di pa ito talaga yun blog ko. Right now, im inside the com lab taking up my exams on c programming. Hehehe! Singit mode. Today, the school will announce who won the elections (Dang im getting anxious about it lately). I just hope i get the position. It'll be a 50% tuition fee for me if i get it =P

Guess what guys... I won the elections. OYE!!?!?! I was able to get 75% of the total votes all in all. Hahah!

A schoolmate offered us an overnight swimming at there resthouse in laguna if at least most of my partymates win the election. Well, it did happen. Only our vice pres was out of the list.

Now, i don't if i'll be ever to log in again. maybe once or twice a month? ^^ But i will still try to visit you guys even if im not doing blogs that much.

restart

2006-07-27T23:06:00.000-07:00

for now. eto muna, may mali ako sa coding ko. Maya update ulet ako. Nasa school kasi ako ngayon.

Preliminary Exams Week

2006-07-17T00:04:00.000-07:00

No blogpost for now. Im going to reconstruct the whole blogsite after prelims and campaign period (Yep, elections we'll be held next week. Im running as 2nd year Rep, wish me luck) hehehe!(<--- eh ano tawag mo dito?)

Realization

2006-07-08T11:19:00.000-07:00

I've always thought being single is very dull, but then again i was wrong. Now that I'm free, i get to meet a lot people. I get to do everything that i want without any worries. I could even sleep long hours without the need to wake up early just to greet someone good morning. I guess, i've finally learned to enjoy life as it is ^^
Im not saying that im not happy with my past, Im just happy it's all over now. My only regret is that I've to lose someone special before I realize her worth . Not the recent one, but my first. But that's all in the past now. I'm not saying i would go back to her, even if i did tell her im a better person now, i dont think she'll like the idea anyway ^^;

Just speaking aloud. Derfmode out

Depapepe Mode ^,..,^

2006-06-17T23:20:00.000-07:00

~~An old friend ask me if i could get the chords of start by depapepe~~. It's really a great song and i like the way they play the guitar. No lyrics, only 2 guitars, one doing the plucking and lead while the other is strumming (i think). I'm giving myself a week to finish this as long as Im still free in my sched. School has started for me last week. With the way my schedule goes this sem, i don't think i could spare to enjoy late night hang outs anymore (i got 7am to 10 pm sched. Twice a week. The others, 9 - 9 pm >.< My only rest would be saturday)

*brand new day by 3 guava trio pala un pinapa transcribe sakin >.< pero gusto ko parin un start nyahaha*

Got tagged?

2006-06-13T21:12:00.000-07:00

1st time i ever got tagged. Here goes nothing

Instructions:Name ten(10) of life's simple pleasures that you like the most, then pick ten(10) people to do the same. Try to be original and creative and not to use things that someone else has already used.

1. Playing online games - been addicted to it since ragnarok 1st started internationally. I just love games like that. Right now,Ran online is fave right now.

2. Playing my guitar - I always play everyday for 2 hours or more since 2nd year high school. I find it relaxing to play guitar since i've always been a band fanatic And it's always a score to those girls who love music =P

3. Eat then sleep - no need to elaborate that XD.

4. Morning run - during summer break i usually do it every 4 am. It's a good way for me to release some tensions lurking inside me.

5. Joke around - they say it's one thing they've never missed in every single day that i'm with them =P i always make fun of them. hehehe!

6. Silence is bliss - ...

7. Make songs - even if doesn't sound good but it's still my composition ^,..,^ Can't hate them

8. Cakes and chocolates- never leave one in the fridge. You might never see if i'm there XD

9. Extreme Cooking - i really like experimenting a lot in cooking since i worked before on a fastfood chain(. Been trying to get exotic dishes. Lately, my pet dog is the only one eating it. Sorry >.<

10. No more number 10 ^^

Gela(derpinsel la na ko maisip sorry ^^)Mark (Balik ko lang sayo XD)Jami (Dalawa na kami ng tagged sayo) Luisa Justine (Sama na kita dito nyahahah ^,..,^)

Fire Prevention Day Ü

2006-06-09T04:11:00.000-07:00

School is about to start for me next week and i still haven't change my sleeping time up to now. I can't find to sleep during midnights so i always end up watching movies or making programs or anything on the computer.

Newei, earlier today, i almost brought the whole house down and i mean litterally. I left a candle lit over a plastic case that burned through with the kitchen tools. My only cornern at that time was the gas tank. I taught that was it for me, hahah!(although i've always dreamed of being cremated when i die but this is not the way i want it to happen ^^;) It's good things i forgot to get me some water so i went down again just to get one, then i found the plastic rack melt away as the fire gets bigger. At first i didn't know what to do but like they say, dont panic. So i opened up tha faucet just to give me a continued supply of water to pour in. Eventually after minutes of fire fighting, i manage to kill it. Whew!

What bothers me is that no one notice that something is burning in the kitchen eventhough my cousin's room is just beneath it. She should have noticed it since the fumes goes up to where her room is. And one more thing, if i haven't went down to get some water... i can't imagine the worst thing possible could ever happen. Im just thankful right now to "HIM"*points above*

Lesson learned:
1. Never leave a canlde lit on top of combustible materials, they burn easily
2. If there is fire, never hesitate to call for help
3. keep your composure, don't panic. It helps a lot

That's all. Mom's not going to be happy about it when she gets home >.<

My favourite song

2006-06-01T03:04:00.000-07:00

(my usual side)
I woke up and i found out it was only May 31 >.< (i thought it was june 3 already)I just cant wait to get back to school that's why. Time seems like so slow for me these days. I miss school, i miss my parents(they are on a vacation with my nieces. I decided not to come because of some reasons left here in manila), i miss friends outside pasig, oh i miss a lot of things now a days, including her. I haven't seen her for quite some time. I wonder what she's doing right now? hmm... I guess she's taking her little vacation now since her summer classes are over ^^ take care always.

***
Listening to some mp3s.

It's over - vertica horizon

241(my favourite song) - rivermaya

every little thing - dishwalla

big machine - goo goo dolls

till my heartache ends - ella mae saison <--- Mark favourite mo!!!! hahah! >.

I prefer right now alternative type since that's where i started but my collection consists of different types of music.(yep, even boyband like 98 degrees. I like their song 'invisible man' hahaha! strike one! ^,..,^)

***

(my other side)

It seems like i wont be able to forget her [bes] (not at the moment i guess, but if the time comes, i hope i do). We've shared so much that i still can't get myself to just let it go. It's really hard when that something that connected you both is still there to remind you. One thing that will never go from me, that's music. It has always been a way for me to ease up and just be myself by listening to some of my favorites, OUR usual favorites. Lying there, cuddling each other, whispering words only two of you can understand. We both love the same genre of music. I often sing songs to her because that's how i always show her my feelings. But now, everytime i hear it, everytime i try to play it with my guitar, it just brings back the memories. Brings back the tears i relentlessly fought the whole time. Some are happy, but most of it are painful. That's how it goes for me everytime, in every day that passes by since she's been gone.

Music does really speak the true intentions of the heart because that's where music really starts. One can't make a good composition if his heart is not to it. I just really admire those persons who can make good compositions. Whether rap, rock, or whatever they prefer. They just let their heart make the songs for them.

I do wish that someday she would hear my songs for her so that everytime she hears it, she'd tell herself "Minahal niya ako"...(No sleep for me again... >.<)

Unsophisticated

2006-05-30T02:40:00.000-07:00

Boring day. I've got absolutely nothing to do except to clean my room again. Can't blame me, i always feel like this every sunday. I'm not even in the mood to socialize right now (But i don't really mind chatting with HER Ü. I hope i could talk to her today. I haven't seen her online yesterday). I wish i could come up with something to do. Something that would make me feel good about.(Hmm.. making a song all about her? ^,.,^) Well, time to go to the church. I like going there in their early mass because there's less people going and morning dew is the best Ü (Lugaw! i miss you!. I usually eat lugaw before i go home after work since im on late shifts)

***

Bes called me last night.(Who was she? to those who don't know, she's my ex recently >.<>) I was surprised by it (I wasn't expecting bes anymore because i was too busy with HER ^^) but from the looks of it, she needs someone to talk some sense in her.. again.(Even though i always do that to her, she'd be back into her old ways as if like i said nothing. geez -.-). She tried calling our old friends here in pasig to have a little drink and talk. But it seems like they don't like the idea although they've set a date for it next week. That's what she told to me. She feels like they have something against her that she doesn't know (Oh come on ><). She kept on asking me if i know something about or if i have said something to them that made them like that to her.(Why would i even do that?) I told her i've got nothing to do with everything that's happening with them. it's their decision. I mean, they have their own feelings and it's not something new in this world. People make their own choices and decisions> it varies from one's perspective and the events that coincides with it.

She was too blind too see what's going on anyway. Too cold to feel or just plain insensitive about it. I mean, why not put herself in my shoes just for her to understand that there are things that needs to be explained, especially to those who cares a lot about her. I always says if you truly value a person, you would care to explain or at least give them reason why are you doing this because they have the right to give an opinion to it, because they do care also. But if you just treat them just like that, they would do the same right? Like facing a mirror, what you see is what you get. The bible has something to say about it also, no need for me to explain that. I just hope she could see what i see from my point of view but it seems like she's too busy to notice that the thing she kept on doing is what drives them away from her. (That's what drove me away.. i hope >.<)

True friends are hard to find. Reality speaks for it. A person may have met a lots of friends in his life but only a few of them can be called real. People always tyring to find true friends, true love. Some are lucky to find them easily but some don't. They kept on looking far away yet they don't realize that what they are looking for, what they've been trying to pursue all their life, is just an arms reach to them. It's a lesson few understands but lots of people already went through it.

I'm tired and i wish i could just forget about the pain and everything but it's not that easy. Like Mark said, it's easy to forgive, but it's hard forget. Guess Mark and I do know each other very well.

Changes

2006-05-25T00:19:00.000-07:00

added cbox to my blogsite as suggested by mark ^^

***

I woke up early today. I felt good about it so i made some changes about everything that's around me. Cleaned up my room(very unsual ^^). For now i like what's happening to me. Im able to do things without any hindrance. Well, Be back later. I have to do some maintenance in my pc. The last time i've done these was 2 years ago -.-

***
5 pm
***

Currently at ryan's house (one of my bes buds here in pasig). Just doin some downloading. Im trying to complete my mp3 collection before i decide to burn it. (No, im not downloading porn >.<) And aslo, im completing my robotech collection. Haha! the days when ol' rick hunter was still a pilot up to Scott's ill fated expedition to earth. I just love this anime. It was way back during my grade school years when i first watch this on tv. They were unable to finish 1 season, well maybe because of some copyrights' issues.

***

Im in to playing acoustic version of any songs that i hear especially those songs that has deeper meaning in it. Right now, im trying to compose again another song. This time, its not a sad one. Im already half way through it. I'll post it as soon as i finish it. The only thing that lacks all my songs is recording. >.<

A new begining

2006-05-21T05:35:00.000-07:00

I was online the whole day, just waiting for someone to reach me. Then again, i was wrong. I couldn't find anyone to share my dreams and desire at the moment. Actually i was waiting for that person although she doesn't know anything about it.

I was able to talk to her yesterday but that's just for a moment, but it feels like eternity for me. How i wish she knew it. I just wish i could tell her how things are working for me. But then again i hesitated thinking that she may be interested to it. Somehow i feel like i've known her before and yet it's only been 3 weeks since i've known her. I was staring at her picture all day, hoping that somehow she would reach me or vice versa. I wonder what's she doing right now. I really need to talk her, even just for a short while. If not, then i'll just wait again till tomorrow comes i guess.

Reminiscing

2006-05-18T01:23:00.000-07:00

(monday post. quite late >.<)

Yes, guess I'm back doing bogs again since I've got nothing else to do right now. With so much energy in me right now, I just don't know we're to pour it all out.

***

I had a couple of drinks with Mark, Carlos and Ryan last Saturday night. It was a surprising invitation from mark since we can hardly even contact him nowadays. It was a long night for me that I'll never forget because I consider these guys as family. Whenever I'm happy or down, I would find them waiting for me to call them in case I need them and I couldn't ask for more than that.

***

More surprises came to me when mark started to talk about his recent escapade with a girl whom he though Mrs.. Right. I guess I'm not alone in this world after all. We had a little talk about it and I just let him do it all. I sense that he really wants it out whatever that is bothering him right now. As I listen to him, I can't help but wonder why does every time a person tries to love someone whole-heartedly, they end up being lost or left behind. I just can't seem to find the logic in that, although I'm trying to learn or should I say, I'm trying to find the answer to it through my past experiences. Well it seems like he hasn't changed. Mark is still mark, even though he looks chubby now (he was just the same size as I am back in high school. >. <>

***

(This will be quite long so please bear with me XD)

That night was also quite disorienting for me. I ask my best friend, Sheryl, to drop by the house after work if she has nothing to do after it. I really don't know what came to me or what in the world am I doing asking her to come. It was so sudden that I was caught off guard again. But them, I already said it so might as well stand by it. Although it's the first she's ever going to socialize with my real friends, it was not the first time they have met her. They already known her many times when we we're still together because I usually bring her at the shop if I have something to pick up there. But I guess I have to re-introduce her to them since it's different now. Nostalgia came to me that time. I felt like it was just yesterday we we're happy together, but now she's with somebody else. And every time marks starts to talk about his problem, it always hit home and I start to feel the pain again. I don't blame mark for starting it since that's the real purpose why he's here, to let it out, for us to hear his side and help him through it. I just can't help but to feel the same way as him. Then I find myself murmuring words I shouldn't mention anymore nor to bring it up. I know Sheryl heard everything I have said because she was just right beside me at that time. I couldn't let my feelings out, I don't know why but I just can't. After my barkada left, she decided to stay for a while. We had a chance to talk about our lives now, how things have been doing now. She was telling me about her life in her new work and how comfortable she is there. But she still misses the times in our former work because that's where it all started. I told her I already put that behind me now and I'm trying to forget everything connected with it. Then all of a sudden she said to me "Parang kinalimutan mo na ko nyan kung ganun?” It hit home again and I started to recall the things she has told me just recently.

I wasn't doing anything at that time when I heard my cell phone. It was her asking me how am I doing and if it's ok to voice out something to me. I guess there's nothing wrong with that anyway. She then told me, how come that even if she's trying all she can to be happy, she'll just find herself crying and she also felt that she had lost everything she has before after we broke up. I really don't know what to reply then but I just said, well that must be our fate. She then surprise me by telling me, she still loves me and every day that passes by I'm still the one she's thinking even though she's with someone else. Every day it goes stronger than ever but she's doesn't want to go back either for she might just hurt me again but she wish that she could spend the rest of her life by my side. I was stunned there for a moment but then I realize, there's nothing I could do to it anymore. I just told her that I’d just be here if she ever needs me but I need some time to pick up the broken pieces of me. Things has never change for me, to the point that I still have these feelings for her even though she has cause me so much pain. I guess I'll just see through it whatever it may do to me. She closed our conversation that day by saying "bhe, I love you". I thought it was just a mistake for we she calls me now "bes" but the following words cleared it up to me. She told me that, I’d always be her "bhe" in her life. I felt my knees weaken and my heart starts to beat very slowly with matching heavy sighs. You can already guess what I did reply to her.

Now back to Saturday night, I was still in my world when I saw her staring at me and then just smiled all of a sudden. I kept silent at that time so she tried to change the topic. And so time pass by, she had to go home. I remember what mark told me before they left. He asks me what's the real reason behind the break up. I told him in straight to the point that she's already with someone else. He told me then " Pare, ang bait mo". I found myself wondering whether he's just being sarcastic or what but then, that wasn't Mark at all. I guess he was right; I'm too damn good to have someone just like her. I just wish that I can find the answer to all of the questions I'm having right and hope that I'll find it along the way as I try to move on and get back the life I had before.

Goodbye

2006-05-10T23:47:00.000-07:00

Things have been done
my heart is broken
Shattered dreams from the sky
Feeling lonely and empty

My restless soul wandering
Into the midst of confusion
Trying to find its way back home
To your gentle arms.

Will I find true happiness?
In these dark times
If only things took the other way
will I still find you here?

But now I’m saying goodbye
To all the things, to all that’s you
Its time for me to go
But I can’t deny, I still love you
But goodbye

Old memories
I can’t seem to forget
Will I ever find peace
To put everything to rest

Tomorrow is bleak, I can't seem to see
My way back to sanity
If only things were different
Will I still find you here?

Life is too short
So many things left undone
I can’t go on like this
Even though I’d love to stay

But now I’m saying goodbye
To all the things, to all that’s you
It's time for me to go
But I can’t deny this to you

You've given me so much
To live for, to dream more
But now I'm leaving it behind
But I will not deny, I still love you
But goodbye

** Composition ko. Kagabi ko lang sha nagawa. Medyo inspired ng depression ko. Hahaha! Rate nlang po, mei ksma chords narin yan. Try ko record sa pc pra parinig sa inyo. Mei konting revision. Naalala ko na un second refrain. hahaha! **